once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
You dont lie about slip and slides
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
