Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
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