she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Randomize
