what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
