In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
P.S. I can't hear my feet
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
