At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Randomize
