this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
Randomize
