Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
I think a kid would responsible me up
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Randomize
