I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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