11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
