break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
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