If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
