Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
