life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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