Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
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