I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Randomize
