I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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