Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
It was confusing and full of hummus
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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