Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize
