She is in my trunk
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize
