Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
