Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Randomize
