Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
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