Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
