walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
