my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
