What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
