I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
