I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
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