Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
