I wish I could teleport
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
We don't watch enough power rangers
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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