I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
