I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Everclear isn't food dammit
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
