everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Randomize
