you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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