Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize
