you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Randomize
