OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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