Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
