I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
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