i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Randomize
