OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Randomize
