i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
