And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Randomize
