Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
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