I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
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