Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
