Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
