I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Randomize
