Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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