He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
