my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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