so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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