Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Randomize
