Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Randomize
