you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
My vagina is very pro this idea
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